Have you ever felt guilty for your blessings?
No? Let me explain.
I have a good life. A REALLY good life. I get free college tuition, my parents are great, I don’t struggle with depression, I have no life altering illness, my family is healthy, I’ve never lost a loved one or even a pet…the list goes on.
I love my life. Sure I struggle with day-to-day frustrations, but nothing like what I’ve seen so many people struggle with recently.
And for all my beautiful things, I feel guilty. Why me, God? WHY. ME.
I think I’m waiting for the ball to drop, half of me feeling like I deserve it and half of me praying that it never does. I keep thinking that maybe I’m getting all the good stuff now because I’m headed for a lifetime of the exact opposite.
All of this stems from this unsolved dilemma in my mind: Why do some people get to be nicely settled with the American Dream while others are suffering and never catch a break? How does God decide who gets which? And is one more “honorable” than the other? Isn’t all the suffering supposed to “even out” somehow?
I still don’t have answers. But I know that my God does not play games. I have to remember that. He will do what is best for me.
God is not Karma.